For you my baby

The minute I heard this song, I knew I wanted to share this with you. 
There are so many things I want to show you, share with you and teach you. I may not be the best teacher; my experiences might be limited; I might stumble along the way but I promise I will give you the best I can.

Its who you are

It's not the price
It's not the game
It's not the score
It's not the fame
Whatever road looks way too far
It's not what you have
It's who you are

It's not how fast
It's not how far
It's not of cheers
It's who you are

In darkest night
You make your sun
You choose your race
And then you run

It's never the glory
It's never the score
It's not about seeing about who's less and who's more
Cuz when you find out how fast and how far
You'll know it's not how much you have
It's who you are

You lose the moon
Then be a star
It's not too soon
Be who you are
Whatever road looks way too far
It's not what you have
It's who you are

It's never the glory
It's never the score
It's not seeing about seeing
Who's less and who's more
Cuz when you find out how fast and how far
You'll know it's not how much you have
It's who you are

When you have found
How fast you can run
When you have found
Your place in the sun,
It won't be just you that you'll find
Has made the run and the climb
It's everyone

It's never the glory
It's never the score
It's not seeing about seeing
Who's less and who's more
Cuz when you find out how fast and how far
you'll know it's not how much you have
It's who you are
It's who you are

Learning to bend and not to break
Living to give more than you take
Dying to live
Living to try
Feet on the ground
Dreams in the sky

It's never how much you have
It's who you are
 

The woes of Insurance and the price we pay for basic health coverage

Like many other countries, both developed and developing, having access to good medical care is very important in US of A. But as a developed country, no less than the numero uno in Super Powers, we are still lacking in our health care choices. The best health care plans are offered through group insurance packages available as the employee of an established company. The better the company, the better the choices and the coverage. For people like Sathiq and I, who have chosen to be self-employed consultants, the choices are very very limited and very very pricey.

 We are still covered under COBRA (Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act), which grants us the right to be covered under the group health benefits from Sathiq's last full time employer for a period of 18 months. Thanks to COBRA, we can still avail of the same benefits that we had under our previous plan at the elevated price of 102 percent of the cost to the plan. Which otherwise would have been fully covered by the employer for Sathiq and partially covered for me as his spouse. And trust me this expense stands second only to rent (and we all know about CA rents especially in Silicon Valley), in our list of monthly expenses.

 Now another, interesting factor, is pregnancy is considered a "pre-existing condition (?) " if you were "diagnosed" to be pregnant when you contemplate switching your insurance plans. So while being covered under COBRA and you have been offered a much better and maybe cheaper plan, please hold back if you "suffer" from pregnancy as your "condition" will not be covered. In our case, our COBRA will be expiring on Jan 1, 2012. While we are still waiting for Sathiq's full-time offer to come through, I called up the member services to find out my options. The rather nice lady (Cathy), who answered my call gave me 2 options:

1. I can switch to CAL-COBRA - which is a CA specific law which allows us to continue our COBRA benefits for another 18 months (Yay CA!)
OR
2. I can pray and hope that our baby is born in Dec (Jan 1st happens to be our due date as well. I can see that baby already has a sense of humor and will keep us on our toes)

And trust me CA people have a good sense of humor as well. Nice talking to you, Cathy :)

The number 4

Being a friendly, talkative and out going person by nature I have always been blessed with good company over the years. Best friends, good friends, bosom pals, confidantes, good-time buddies..well the list of labels is long. Some of the best times of my life have been spent in the company of my friends, well i guess that is not very uncommon :)

One interesting fact that strikes me when I look back over the years is the number 4. Well thats is my lucky number (ya i know big superstitious me...i have lucky numbers, lucky days, lucky dresses and even lucky poses to sleep/ wake up in). Ok I m swerving off the topic here...back to number 4. Well in the case of my friends too I strike lucky again with 4.

In school, I had a girl's gang of friends and a boy's gang of friends. And you guessed it, there were 4 of us. Siji, Nandi(tha), Remya n I and then Asim, Abu, Sudheesh and I. Eventhough the boys n girls spend time together, we were still 2 gangs. Siji and Asim are my best-est friends from the 2 gangs respectively. And like they say, the friendships you form when you are young are for a lifetime. I always believe this is because these friendships are formed when you are innocent and you be friends just for the simple fact that you like somebody. The way I can talk and be myself with these people beats anybody else.

Not so lucky in college though. And I blame it on the fact that except for the first year classes, all the others had benches which could only fit 3 people. No you couldnt squeeze 4 thin people in it. Trust me for I would have tried. All the tiffs and misunderstandings were cleared up over the years but we ended up being friends in silos. Well that is life and we just savor the good times, i guess.

The next stage was ofcourse career. I will skip over the Pune period and come straight to Trivandrum Infy. Oooh the feeling of earning and not having to worry about another test during the training was absolute bliss! Let me tell you, the time at Trinfy was one of the best times of my life. There again the number 4 - Kalyani, Keerthi, Divya and me. Oh the fun we had. We formed Mahila Samajam, the perpetrator of all fun and frolic in the otherwise tame DC. The games we organized, the long tea breaks, the longer lunch sessions, the fashion shows, the cake cuttings and masalas. And in the end transitioning to the new beginings in our lives...seeing each of us through wedding proposals, the reassurements, the dress fittings, the "bachelorette" nights, and finally ending up on the wedding albums, tired, happy and beaming. (Please note that the absence of the word "work" in this section has been intentional for the simple lack of it)

And now back to the future or rather present. Marriage for me like anybody else brought with it a lot of changes. The most significant one was the change of "Country of Permanent Residence". Moving half a world away from your family n friends was not easy. Especially considering the fact that I ended up jobless, car-less and activity-less in the process. Well things picked up when finally I got licensed to "work". Back to having a life of my own. Inspite of the challenges of trying out a new career and in a very different work setting, it was a fun time. The best thing I got out of it - Amrita, Pratibha and Jenny! Oh the fun times we had and the skills we developed. And the sheer drama of the consulting business - I refrain myself from jotting down some interesting incidents as I have no intention of being involved in any legal reprimands.

We literally saw each of us out of there to higher rungs of life...sought after careers, motherhood and the trials that come with it and plans of a better life. And still even after all this time, we still regale ourselves with "do u remember when.." or "that time when.." or "when the toilet stopped flushing..." much to our spouses' disdain. Though it is rare when 4 of us get to spend time together again, there are so many good memories to bind us all together. Amrita is the one to listen to my woes and pacify me and see me through my troubles and still making it all seem fun and bearable. Pratibha is the one who makes me forget what it is that I was worried about as she takes my mind off that with something much more interesting. And Jenny is the one who prompts me forward to taking the next big step with that simple question...Why not? and her signature statement "just finish it off".

I remember a birthday card I once received which said,

"We are best friends not because we like the same things but because we like each other despite our different likes"

Victim of fraud

I was rudely awakened last Saturday morning by my cell phone ringing. Being far away from home, I react to an untimely phone call with a sense of dread. Luckily it was my bank...wait a minute, it cant be...what they are saying cant be true....looks like someone has been trying to use my debit card repeatedly in the ATM and it was now blocked! Like any decently married (and employed) professional, I use my ATM card only to deposit money into my account. All the spending happens from Sathiq's side. So I told the person on the other line that it definitely wasnt me. And he calmy informed me that I m a victim of fraud....the biggest menace of our times

The operator then started asking me questions like my drivers license number and Sathiq was up in a jiffy, waving his hands no...I was even more confused and he had his laptop open and was showing me an article on how people claiming to be from the bank call you up and ask you for your confidential info....I immediately hung up. God, who do you trust!

Well I logged into my account and immediately found that the call was true...somebody had made a transfer from my account...luckily it was into one of my other accounts. I understood the reason for this when I looked at the other transactions. I keep a very low balance in my checking account as I use it only in dire emergencies . Whoever hacked into my account must have understood the state of affairs. They immediately transferred money from my savings account ( the bank staunchly refuses to let me know how they allowed this to happen as it was a phone transfer) and started spending my money.

Well the whole incident has left me feeling so helpless. I dont know how I can trust any system again. I have been checking my account atleast 5 times a day and each time I log in I m keeping my fingers crossed. Well the bank has advised me of the following steps:

1. Close all my accounts - a real pain since some of them have auto-transfers/debits set up
2. Open new accounts - I have done it for the moment, but I m not really sure I want to keep my money in this bank anymore (they are the nation's number one, I hope atleast number two has better security measures)
3. File claims for the fraudulent transactions - another pain and I m yet to do this
4. File a police complaint - this was advised by my friends, since it seems there might be a good chance I can expect more of this since my identity has been compromised now.

I still cant figure out how this happened. I do not use my CC or debit card online unless I m very sure the site is a secure one. And contrary to what Sathiq believes, I do not go around reciting my SSN to anyone who calls me up. The only way I can think of is either somewhere the internet connection was insecure or somebody has got hold of my SSN.

As a part of employment, we are mandated to submit a hard copy of the employment verification form which asks for your full SSN alongwith all the other critical info. This we hope gets stored securely and are not accessible by anyone. But how can any of us ensure that. Being a consultant, I work with a new client every 6-12 months. How can I be sure that my information is secure. I believe it is high time that this is be reformed considering that technology has improved so much that if somebody gets your key data, then you are finished... be it anywhere from getting access to your medical history to your bank account.

Well I hope I have succesfully put a stop to my problem. But the reality, there is no way I will be sure. I have to live in constant fear of when and how it will strike me next.

Long time no see

Been atleast 2 months since I last blogged. Although this time, I had promised myself that I will be a regular, I lost track. Again.
Well, I got a new job last month and that's kept me busy. I had taken a temporary hiatus for more than 6 months and getting back to work mode has not been easy. Well I guess I just have to complain.
Anyway, work is ok. Its close to home, so that s the biggest highlight. Not too hectic, point two in favor. But I guess the list ends there. Still have to settle in. Well will crib about it later. Dont think I have much ammo now.
This week, we kind of settled back into a routine. We spent most of the time, catching up with Sathiq's friends. People are moving out, buying homes, giving up homes, planning to move to other places for home...Well it has started us wondering about what we want. As usual, the introspections are happening, but havent made much ground.

Well, i think its too depressing to introspect on a Sunday evening and came to blog:) The coming week is going to be interesting. I have to get some work on my plate, from somebody who I m transitioning from. Not looking forward to it at all. Well have to brace myself and do it, or its going to look pretty bad. But have couple of meetings planned for the latter half of the week. Looking forward to meeting new people and learning some new things..Lets c how it turns out.

what is it about Fridays that makes it so endearing?

I have often wondered, why people in general seem so happy that it is a Friday. The most obvious answer is, the weekend is here. This leaves us time to take a break from whatever we are doing and enjoy other activities. We plan to meet up with friends, go sample a new restaurant, catch up on our chores, cook something special or just relax.

For me personally, I start Friday with the feeling that, ok couple of more hours to finish whatever I need to do and then I m done! What a wonderful feeling to start a day. When I was working, I usually leave all the catching up and follow up jobs for Friday. I keep the meetings short, sort through the week's work and then make plans for the coming week. Honestly, writing this down, I m impressed myself. But I realize now that keeping things orderly comes naturally to me. This might be the one good gene passed on from my mother to me. And to my husband, this is his constant pain. My desire to arrange and plan and meticulously details things. Ok I m not going to drift now; lets discuss my (un?)attractive qualities some other time.

Like I was saying, all this planning and looking back gives me a lot of satisfaction. I feel there is nothing pending for the next day on my plate. This in turn makes me more relaxed, makes me start thinking of fun things to do, like crash at somebody's house for a nice chat, enjoy a good meal and lately do something outdoors. Also I get to spend time with Sathiq, watching a good movie or talking about our friends and family or something we both like. And lately I have been a regular at the mosque for the Friday namaaz. This is one thing I have come to enjoy a lot. I like the feeling of joining a lot of strangers, standing shoulder to shoulder and worshiping. I enjoy the piece and quiet and general feeling of belonging. Well the point is each of us have our own reasons to enjoy the weekend.

But then, why does Friday make it better than a Saturday? And I think it is because, we homosapiens in general, love the feeling that there is something around the corner, than actually having it. Like Shakespear said "Anticipation is better than prize" in Hamlet. You know that you have all these plans and at that point, the possibility in your mind is, I m going to enjoy doing this. When you actually do it, whether it lives upto your expectation is pure chance. I personally like what Keats had to say on the subject " Heard melodies are sweet but those unheard are sweeter...."

Bottom line - Fridays are the best!

I can bake too!

After multiple attempts baking ready-to-bake cake mixes, I finally worked up my courage to attempt the Moist Honey Cake recipe (from scratch) which my friend, Nisha had put up on her blog - http://mykitchenantics.blogspot.com/2010/03/oh-honey-honey.html

Inspite of all my attempts to botch it ( I was so engrossed in using my new measuring cups that I passed over the rest of the metric system- forgot to convert Centigrade to Fahrenheit and ended up broiling the cake for a good 40 min. i was completely clueless when the fork i inserted came out cleanly since the cake was still in liquid state. finally caught on and then hiked up the temp n had the cake made in a total of 1:20 min),...ok let me continue; inspite of my (innocent) attempts to botch it, the cake came out so well, that I m eternally indebted to Nisha for the rest of my life. U see, the look on Sathiq's face after he tasted it was something I had never seen before ;)

to celebrate, i treated myself to Julie and Julia, a wonderful finale to my great day. I ended up identifying so much with Julia during the movie which i think marks a great movie. u see i m also in my late twenties, in and out of work, so caught up in trying to figure out what i want to do in life. All the while totally forgetting to appreciate the loving, constant surety in my life, my husband. so yesterday marked a change in my usual life pattern, where i made it all about appreciating sathiq. and to be honest, i found out i like giving a lot more than taking :)

i m not sure how long i will be in this state of mind. given what i know of myself, i will lapse into my self-centered, patronizing, demanding way of mind more often than not. But at least i will do a self-introspection often to see if i m taking the time to enjoy my life, the way it is.